Everyone is a TERRORIST!
Well, this is a REALLY LONG ARTICLE, so you have to click the READ MORE link below to read it in its entirety.
Sorry for the lack of posts lately, but posting has become DANGEROUS. The President or “Homeland Security” or whoever the fuck it is changed the Terror Alert status recently! Here’s a LIVE update (ok, so its not live, but it was live when I posted this) of the current Terror Alert:
TERROR ALERT: 
That’s right, folks. We’re currently in the ORANGE state of Terror Alert! It’s almost spooky! I always knew those Florida Premium Orange Grower guys were evil.
ACHTUNG!
The following section is protected by the First Amendment of the constitution. If you disagree with the views posted in this article, you are a terrorist. If you agree with the views of this article, you are a terrorist. If you can’t read, you are an illegal immigrant and a terrorist.
On to my next topic of discussion: Everyone is a TERRORIST!
Why, you ask? How so, I hear? Well let me explain.
According to Merriam-Webster, a terrorist is “one that inspires fear.” Ever jump out of the closet to scare your girlfrend? I have, and she nearly shit herself. But, doing this action inspired fear. She nearly fell to the ground in fright, thereby making me a terrorist.
Ever scare anyone?
If you’ve never inspired fear in someone, then you’re not human.
Ever choke on an after-dinner mint and almost die and scare your girlfriend?
I have, and she nearly shit herself. Well, that makes me a terrorist again.
Hell, George Bush is a terrorist. That’s right, I said that our president is a terrorist. He inspires fear in me all the time. When he delivered the “State of the Union Address” thing, he said, and I quote, ” All told, more than 3,000 suspected terrorists have been arrested in many countries. Many others have met a different fate. Let’s put it this way — they are no longer a problem to the United States and our friends and allies.”
He IMPLICITLY IMPLIED that the US and other countries have MURDERED suspected terrorists. Now, what the FUCK. Suspected terrorists can just be killed? Fuck me in the goat ass. What ever happened to INVESTIGATION and trials and shit. Thank you Bush, for fucking up the world as we know it. Just because daddy has his hand 2 feet up your ass doesn’t mean you have to do everything he says. Daddy couldn’t take down Saddam, so he has you do it. You should be arrested for terrorism…
Unfortunately, I can’t say anymore, because it might go beyond the borders of free speech. Till next time.
Posted: February 11th, 2003
Comments: 5
Comments
Comment from YouAreThePerfectTool
Time: February 11, 2003, 5:49 pm
Because you think jokes are funnier in pairs:
I didn’t nearly shit myself.
I cried, asshole.
Comment from YouAreThePerfectTool
Time: February 11, 2003, 6:00 pm
Redundant…
Just like you.
Comment from crazymongol9
Time: February 12, 2003, 5:19 pm
What ever happened to INTELLIGENT ARGUMENTS and points and counterpoint….”and shit”
Comment from Natalie
Time: February 23, 2003, 2:14 pm
Wow…you people are jerks! Calm the fuck down it’s just an article.
Comment from YouAreThePerfectTool
Time: February 11, 2003, 5:48 pm
I didn’t nearly shit myself.
I cried, asshole.